Tomorrow is day one of my Bikini Body Mommy 3.0 adventure..
I fail miserably at these programs.. they are too strict.. they deprive too much.. they work you too hard.. they don’t work you hard enough..
I have decided to do BBM 3.0 and have accountability partners.. I’m actually running this BBM journey with a few online friends.. I’ll be the one posting the videos and asking for updates from the people who have joined me..
I am hoping that since they will be depending on me to keep them motivated, that it means I will stay motivated myself..
I have decided that I will not be following her meal plan.. I will take the supplements that she has suggested and do her work outs.. I will be increasing my water intake as well.. but I will eat what I like and practice moderation.
Bright at early tomorrow morning I will weigh myself for the first time in over a month.. which will be horrifying.. and I will post it publicly which is even more horrifying..
I went though a depression for that month that I didn’t step on a scale.. and I am a comfort eater..so that doesn’t really bode well for me. I’m not sure what I weigh right now, but I can guarantee that it is more than 200 lbs so I am a bundle of nerves tonight because I know I will not be happy with what I see on the scale.
For now.. I will try not to let it get to me too much.. but seeing as I am writing about it.. it’s not easy to not think of.
I am not sure how regularly I will be posting about it here as I will be posting it in the womens group that I am in and posting it on Instagram.. But I will try to keep you updated.. My invisible reader.. who is so invisible that it doesn’t show in the stats that you have read my blog entries.
It feels good to work half days again. I guess I have gotten used of the full days because I felt like I was missing something when I saw the clock and realized I had half an hour left of my shift.. I was making plans for my lunch break at 11.. Even though my shift ended at 10:30 ha ha ha
I got home.. Looked at the clock a half dozen times and finally.. Did something I haven’t done in weeks..
I took a nap with the baby..
Ahhhhh.. 2 blissful hours or rest & relaxation snuggled up to the sweetest 1 year old in the whole world..
Tomorrow is my birthday.. Part of me wants to be excited about it.. Another part of me knows it its going to be “just another day”..
Work, come home, nap with the baby, clean, cook dinner.. rinse & repeat..
I wish my birthdays were bigger deal.. Sadly I have been left in the background.. Perhaps that its my fault.. I could make a bigger deal out of it..
What do you do on your birthday?
I am trying to lose weight since having the baby..
My issue is that my appetite hasn’t decreased since having the baby.. I am told this is because I am still nursing which takes a lot of energy.
Is it normal to still have a pregnancy appetite when breastfeeding or am I completely mental?
I am eating healthier and am now working on my feet 4 hours a day so I should be losing something.. I think I am maintaining my weight though..
None of my clothes fit differently and I am still having back issues..
My milk is also having issues.. Between working (which means nursing less) & being more active.. My milk production has slowed.. So I can’t really push myself because I worried that I will stop producing milk all together if I do..
And I am sure that the worry of my milk production isn’t helping.. Yet I can’t stop myself.. I am my own worst enemy..
I have been doing NOOM on my phone for a while and though I have been following it as best as I can, I am falling behind on tracking and logging everything..
Before I was employed I could focus 2 minutes to follow the instructions.. But now.. I don’t have time to think let alone log stuff..
That in itself is so demotivating..
Anyway.. I am off to work now.. I may blog later.. I may take a nap..
Stay tuned to find out!
I gave my cat up to the SPCA today.. A sad occasion.. He is 3.5 year old orange tabby.
I have tried everything to get him to like the baby.. He just doesn’t like babies I guess..
So when faced with the choice of baby or cat.. The choice is pretty straight forward..
I said goodbye to mister jackolantern who refused to get out of his carrier for me. I have been switched to the morning shift so my shift now ends at 10:30am..
I will no longer be needing a regular sitter anymore.. Just an occasional one when my boyfriend opens the store.
We went grocery shopping hungry today.. Huge mistake.. We blew our budget right out of the sky.. Crashed it into the ocean and splattered it all along the oceans surface.. Then watched as it slowly sank to the bottom of the the deepest ocean canyon..
My boyfriend concurs with my statement..
So we ate afterwards.. And as I my lunch.. I began to think of all the unnecessary items we bought.. *shakes head* it is a good thing I got my last pay from my other job and am getting paid from my current job this Friday or we’d be 5 kinds of screwed..
I will be resuming afternoon nap with the baby now that I have a schedule that allows it.
For now.. I am signing off with a picture of my beloved Jackie.. And a hope that he will find a home that can give him all the love and attention he deserves..