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Posts tagged ‘life’

Bikini Body Mommy 3.0 Day 0

Tomorrow is day one of my Bikini Body Mommy 3.0 adventure..

I fail miserably at these programs.. they are too strict.. they deprive too much.. they work you too hard.. they don’t work you hard enough..

I have decided to do BBM 3.0 and have accountability partners.. I’m actually running this BBM journey with a few online friends.. I’ll be the one posting the videos and asking for updates from the people who have joined me..

I am hoping that since they will be depending on me to keep them motivated, that it means I will stay motivated myself..

I have decided that I will not be following her meal plan.. I will take the supplements that she has suggested and do her work outs.. I will be increasing my water intake as well.. but I will eat what I like and practice moderation.

Bright at early tomorrow morning I will weigh myself for the first time in over a month.. which will be horrifying.. and I will post it publicly  which is even more horrifying..

I went though a depression for that month that I didn’t step on a scale.. and I am a comfort eater..so that doesn’t really bode well for me. I’m not sure what I weigh right now, but I can guarantee that it is more than 200 lbs so I am a bundle of nerves tonight because I know I will not be happy with what I see on the scale.

For now.. I will try not to let it get to me too much.. but seeing as I am writing about it.. it’s not easy to not think of.

I am not sure how regularly I will be posting about it here as I will be posting it in the womens group that I am in and posting it on Instagram.. But I will try to keep you updated.. My invisible reader.. who is so invisible that it doesn’t show in the stats that you have read my blog entries.

I get by with a little help from my friends

I love the Beatles.. and I love The Wonder Years..

But this isn’t about either.. this is about me actually needing help..

Ever since I got cut back from 50 hours a week down to 15 it’s been a struggle.. Rent going up again isn’t helping… With full time we barely made ends meet as it was pre-rent hike…

Here is where I use emotional black mail to lure you into donating to my site.

I have 2 kids to take care of..

They are my everything.. I love them dearly and cannot afford where I live anymore..
My issue is that I can’t afford moving expenses either.. So I’m asking for your help..

I’m looking for donations to help us move into a new place. We’ve put in our 2 months notice and have to be out New Years Eve.

Before you start asking what I’m doing to help myself I’ll tell you..

– I work part time at a place that gives tips.. I have stopped spending the tips.. they are going to my moving costs..
– I do secret shopping on the side of my part time work and am saving that money as well.. sadly that only pays $3-5 a job and it costs me $3+ just to go out to said locations
– I do Avon as well to earn extra money but am still struggling to make a profit with that little endeavor.. I know a profit can be made.. I did avon once before and managed to make a profit from it back then.. I only stopped because I had 2 other jobs at the time and chose to quit avon.
– I am selling as much of my stuff as I can before the move.. clothes, electronics, craft supplies, artwork.. anything that isn’t nailed down.. and probably even some stuff that is..

But I have debts to pay off.. I’ve used my credit cards to make ends meet and need to pay those off AND pay for my moving expenses..

Once I live in a cheaper place I will be able to get back on track.. and who knows.. I might get a second part time job in the area I will move to..

Right now I’m spending $1800 a month on rent, hydro & transportation and only making $2200 a month, which leaves me with $400 a month for Groceries, bills & emergency expenses.

I know that I can get a cheaper place, I’m currently looking at a place that is $1100 all inclusive. I’d be able to pay off my debts, save some money for the next move I end up doing, buy my kids nice things again and not kill myself trying to make ends meet for a little while.

As you can see, I have an actual plan to get back on my feet, this won’t be me every single week begging for a handout.

Please.. anything you could donate would be incredible I really would like to change my life and I believe this is the first step to doing so.

Just to make donating easier for you, my entire blog is a link to my donate page.

Thanks so much in advance, you have no idea how much your donation means to me.

Big Mama & family.

There is always next year?

I have been having a “it must be just one of those days” day for 6 says in a row now..

Friday: I missed Kaylees one year checkup & shots.. I kept picturing my baby crying with no mommy to soothe her breaking heart

*Sigh* it is just one of those days..

Saturday & Sunday: A very upset baby was suffering from the side effects of her immunizations.. She was being very clingy and needy which would be fine except that my other baby came home from school with head lice..

With all that, you really can’t expect to have a good weekend..

Monday: I was suppose to be enjoying a day off, instead I was keeping Sarah home from school to finish cleaning her head while the boyfriend went to work and I had to listen to the baby cry because all she wanted was to snuggle and I couldn’t have her near me because I had her sister sitting I’m front of me with live eggs & lice in her hair..

Crap right? It is just another over of those days..

Tuesday: I went to work on Monday mode.. I got everything ready with time to spare.. Then realized that I set out the wrong food. I did the Monday prep with the Monday food on a Tuesday.. What a waste of time & food..

It is looking like those days are contagious on each other..

Wednesday: I was determined to have a better day.. I got out of bed half an hour early.. Thought that grabbing a drink before going to work would help wake me up.. I tossed my uniform shirt on the counter.. Grabbed a drink, turned around to grab my shirt only to see it sitting in dirty water in sink

I spent the first 15 minutes of my shift in the bathroom using the hand dryer to dry my shirt..

When am I going to catch a break?

Thursday: Just when I think my week can’t possibly get any worse.. I am up half the night with a baby who just won’t sleep.. Until about 4am.. I finally fall asleep with her.. Then I wake up to a baby nudging me for a morning feed.. I sleepily snuggle her and grab my phone to see how much time I have before my alarm clock goes off..

I slept through it.. I am now 25 minutes late for work.. Laying in bed.. No shower.. Not dressed.. Crap!

How the hell have I had 6 bad days in a row?!?!

As a customer said to me today.. There is always next year…

Man.. I am glad that tomorrow is my last days of full time hours.. The weekend can’t come soon enough..

Feeling like a crappy mom right now..

My 11 year old is so independent.. She has always found a way to look at the bright side.. She didn’t do her laundry over the weekend so I told her to put her laundry in the wash when she got home last night & I would put it in the dryer when she was in bed.

I was still making dinner because it was my first time making cabbage rolls.. Not realizing that it was an all day meal..

I was also dealing with a spazzeming..
sore back

So I had a hot bath to try working out the ache..

And the baby was very clingy because as dictates childhood.. She is suffering from separation anxiety.. She has been more and more clingy as she has realized that mommy working is going to be a regular thing.

While I was in the bath I kept imagining a Wolf spider crawling out of my overflow drain.. Then when I stopped seeing that I saw Elans stuffed bird eating spider doing the same..

I freaked out and leapt out of the tub.. Wondering how a 30 year old woman still let her imagination get the better of her.

Anyway.. With all of that I forgot my older girls clothes.. I realized that when I was sleeping this morning and stirred a little when I heard the shower going.

My sweet.. Independent.. Chipper girl.. Went downstairs with the laundry card.. Switched the laundry herself.. Came up.. Got everything else ready for school while she waited for her clothes..

And when I apologized for not putting her clothes in the dryer.. She apologized for not telling me she did this morning but she as in the shower..

This morning could have gone sooooo much worse..

I really do have the best daughters in the world..

Now I feel like such a bad mom.. 😛

Dedicated to all parents

Gotta admire my baby’s dedication..
When she was a newborn.. It could have been accidental..

At 3 months.. Just a comfort thing..

At 6 months.. Exploratory..

At 9 months.. Action/reaction discovery..

At 11 months old now.. She has grown so tall that it takes a real effort.. But she still does..

Does anyone know how to stop a baby from digging their toes in your bellybutton??

This is a little embarrassing.. Okay.. A lot..

I am hoping other moms out there can give me a little advice..

My second pregnancy.. I took care of myself.. I ate healthy (most of the time anyway.. A pregnant woman needs her treats), I exercised regularly.. If I was too sore to walk.. I swam.. I relaxed and made time to pamper myself.. I did kegals every day.. I did everything “right”

I still dealt with LBL (light bladder leakage).. From 5 months pregnant through out my entire pregnancy.. I asked my midwife about it because I was concerned.. She told me not to worry.. With regular kegals it will go away on its own soon after birth..

What I would like to know ladies is what “soon” means..

My daughter is now 11 months old.. I am still doing kegals every single time I nurse her.. As soon as I wake up in the morning & before bed.. Though my boyfriend appreciates it.. It still isn’t helping with my LBL issue.. I don’t even feel it when it happens.. I just use the bathroom and can smell it on my pad when I do..

Is there anything else I can do to correct this?
Should I speak to a doctor?
Am I doomed to live like this for the rest of my life?
Someone out there please let me know I am not alone in this..


The great hour debate.

Wish me luck…

I love working with the people I currently work with.. I am a people person so even when I don’t particularly like the people I work with.. I find a way to make it work..

Well.. The place I currently work.. I love it.. I love shopping there.. I like working there.. The issue is.. It isn’t the hours I wanted.. I wanted 24 hours a week maximum.. I wanted days.. And I wanted Saturday off..

None of which I am getting..

I am working closes.. 9 hour shifts.. & every Saturday so far.. Except my last one.. It was supposed to be a day off in the first place.. But they booked me for that day part way through the week and didn’t tell me..

When I finally found out.. I had no sitter for the shift so I told them absolutely not.

Now.. They are looking for someone to work day shifts at the store I originally applied at…

*Waves hand in the air jumping up and down*

Me! Me! Me!

I want it… You know… The hours and location I applied for…

Don’t hire someone else for it.. I am right here..

Oh but Big mama.. You sell so well and we are retail.. We need you to work evenings and weekends to make money…

Ummmm.. No you don’t.. Every employee is expendable… All the time.. Don’t ever make an employee feel irreplaceable..

Valued yes.. Irreplaceable.. No

I went job hunting today and got a job for a place I know I won’t enjoy as much as where I work now.. But the pay is the same.. It is the hours I want.. And I will be home for dinner every night..

My problem is.. What job do I keep?

The less desirable job because it is the hours I want??
Or the more desirable job but risk losing it by using the New job as leverage?

I can always fall back on the less desirable job I suppose if the other wants to let me go for looking for a job while employed by them..

What makes matters worse right now is that I am working for minimum wage.. And everyone willing/able to take care of my babies are expecting 150% of my pay check.. They are asking to get paid $15 an hour when I am making $10.25 -deductions.. In what UNIVERSE am I supposed to afford this?!?!?!?!?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand.. The baby is teething.. And not taking it well at all.. She has been needy and clingy and fussy all day long.. For a few days now.. All I want to do is curl up with her and snuggle her until the pain goes away.. Does anyone know a job that will pay for that?? I will drop both my current jobs for that one in a heartbeat..


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