Tomorrow is day one of my Bikini Body Mommy 3.0 adventure..
I fail miserably at these programs.. they are too strict.. they deprive too much.. they work you too hard.. they don’t work you hard enough..
I have decided to do BBM 3.0 and have accountability partners.. I’m actually running this BBM journey with a few online friends.. I’ll be the one posting the videos and asking for updates from the people who have joined me..
I am hoping that since they will be depending on me to keep them motivated, that it means I will stay motivated myself..
I have decided that I will not be following her meal plan.. I will take the supplements that she has suggested and do her work outs.. I will be increasing my water intake as well.. but I will eat what I like and practice moderation.
Bright at early tomorrow morning I will weigh myself for the first time in over a month.. which will be horrifying.. and I will post it publicly which is even more horrifying..
I went though a depression for that month that I didn’t step on a scale.. and I am a comfort eater..so that doesn’t really bode well for me. I’m not sure what I weigh right now, but I can guarantee that it is more than 200 lbs so I am a bundle of nerves tonight because I know I will not be happy with what I see on the scale.
For now.. I will try not to let it get to me too much.. but seeing as I am writing about it.. it’s not easy to not think of.
I am not sure how regularly I will be posting about it here as I will be posting it in the womens group that I am in and posting it on Instagram.. But I will try to keep you updated.. My invisible reader.. who is so invisible that it doesn’t show in the stats that you have read my blog entries.
TGIF! I work at a gov’t building so I don’t work weekends
A woman came over to my job today and asked for a chicken wrap.. She put a bunch of stuff on it then asked for some grilled zucchini and I told her we sold out half an hour earlier..
She walked away.. No food.. No money exchanged.. Nothing.. So I was left with a wrap that no one at work wanted..
Then I remembered a homeless guy that had the most awesome sign I have ever seen..
I gave him the sandwich.. Then I took a picture of him and the sign.
I don’t think anyone reading my blog knows this.. But once upon a time.. I was homeless.. For about a year actually..
But I didn’t have to deal with the brutal cold winter that Ottawa gives.. I was on the west coast where the winters were cool & damp.. But snow didn’t last more than a month and the idea of wind chill factor was foreign..
I talked to the guy for a while.. He was really nice.. He accepted the wrap and had a really nice smile. I missed 3 buses giving him the food which of course made me late getting home.. Not really that bad though.
I went for a coffee date with a long time girlfriend I don’t see nearly enough of.. She is going to school now.. Something I wanted to do.. But we needed the money a little more urgently than my schooling..
If I ever get the early shift at work I will be making more money.. I will do home schooling then when we have some savings I will take the hairdressing course I have wanted to take most of my life..
For now.. I will settle for spending every afternoon and weekend with my girls and bringing in cash.. Grateful that I have a roof over my head.. Food in my stomach and love from so many wonderful people in much life..
So.. Now I am down to one job.. And of course being a mom.. I am awake and wishing my stupid laundry card was working..
I put money on the laundry card and the machine gave me an error.. It took my money and didn’t add it to the card l.
I am going to go to the laundry room to check if the card has magically fixed itself and will let me do some laundry..
Phelps said they will fix is.. Swell.. I can’t wait for a month for them to finally mail me $50 via snail mail with an apology note..
This sucks.. All I want is to work.. Spend time with my family and get my god damn laundry..
Now I have a sitter who isn’t available before noon.. And no o e else available for the two days I need someone before noon..
Why isn’t going back to work easier than this?
I knew it wouldn’t be a cake walk.. But it has been an uphill battle since day one..
First I was hired before I find a sitter.. Then promised hours I never got.. Then got yelled at for not wanting the hours I didn’t ask for..
Is it terrible that I am complaining about too much work??
There are people out there unemployed and I am complaining about having two jobs and too much to do..
Perhaps I should be grateful..
What do you think?