Why are you reading this? Scroll down for the good stuff.

My company is pretty big.. we’re international in fact.. we have locations around Canada & the United States.. we ship around the world.. we’re titans..

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We’ve recently acquired a new company.. which for a long time.. have been our competitors.. HUGE in the business world.. HUGE

They too were titans of our industry.. it would be like McDonalds buying out Burger King.. and kind of a coupe for us..

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With the sad reality of a buy out like this.. comes mass lay offs.. and my co-worker and I have been watching as people have been getting their pink slips and going..

It’s a sad occasion.. to be on the ground watching as people who’ve been working there forever are suddenly.. just gone.. unnecessary..
Here I am.. 33 years old.. I still look young enough to get ID’d when I buy smokes before going to work

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And I’m teaching a man who has worked at the company for 32 years how to use our system to do the same job he’s done for ever..

All he keeps telling me is “This is how we USED to do things” “This is how we USED to do things”

I’ve seen enough to know that if he doesn’t learn our system of doing things that he’s going to lose his job.. and fast.. I’m one of 11 people who can take over his job without a second glance.. there are 5 more that could do his job in a week with a little bit of training within our company as well.. and he just can’t let things go

How can I tell a man that without sounding harsh? How can I tell him that he’s disposable.. after 32 years on the job.. 32 years of loyal service..

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Me.. who has worked for my company for 2 years NEXT April.. who was still in diapers when he started doing this job..
I would hate to see him lose his job.. but the reality is.. if he doesn’t shut up and learn then that is exactly what is going to happen.. this job is all he knows by this point.. who is going to hire a 60 something year old man with 32 years at this one job.. someone a few years from his retirement age goal.. losing this job would devastate him & his family.. and to the owner of our company.. it will be:

justanothertuesday

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Big mama is just like every other mama out there.. making new years resolutions desperate to be in ideal shape..

On my Facebook I have posted a picture every day of my weight.. I am going to be doing my measurements every once in a while so I can watch the difference in everything..

Here is what I have so far:

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And here are my measurements today:
Bust: 40″
Waist: 36″
Hips: 48″
Arms: 13″
Thighs: 28″

Here they were August of last year:
Bust: 44″
Waist: 37″
Hips: 48″
Arms: 13.5″
Thighs: 30″

I am not sure how to keep blogs interesting anymore.. I used to write all the time.. And I never ran out of things to say.. but that was back in the days of MySpace when blogs were cool..

Are blogs cool anymore?

Don’t answer that.. I don’t want to know if I am spiraling into the uncool mom zone.. my teenager already thinks I am there..

I think I will end my blog here for now.. if I come up with anything witty I will let you know right away..

Or you know.. write another blog..

Or.. .. .. something.. *blink*

S’cuze me.. I gotta go do mom things now..

So I slept in until my “time to go” alarm..

Bolted for the bathroom to brush my teeth.. no time for a shower.. bleh

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I wait for the elevator in my high rise & get to the ground floor.. go bolting out the building.. cross the street to my bus stop..

I forgot my bus pass..

I run allllllllll the way back to my apartment grab the bus pass and run back to the bus stop.. get back to the bus stop JUST on time..

And now I am sweating.. with no shower.. and no deodorant..

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Bleh… double bleh.. nope.. no.. triple bleh… Good thing I have deodorant at work.. I can put some on when I get there..

I get to the Tim Hortons to buy my morning coffee & an extra coffee for the person that will inevitably pick me up on the way to work..

I give the person that picked me up his coffee.. we arrive at work & I can see another co-worker telling a story & running around..

Lively story.. why am I watching him from outside?

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Creeper! I am such a creeper!

Come lunch time I go for lunch with a guy that has a crush on me.. the entire time out was awkward..

Especially when he threatened to spank me… … … *blink*

Work is quiet so I do my usual listen to loud music and sing very loudly totally off key and dance like I am having a seizure

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Just to find out that the big boss is here.. like.. the owner of my location.. and has a perfect view of my shenanigans..

Aces Big mama.. aces..

Then when the big boss decides to leave he came to see me so he could say Merry Christmas & shake my hand..
He flagged me down to tell me so ahead of time.. so I watched him as he approached.. .. ..

Finally the day is over.. and the cute married guy at work offers me a ride to my bus stop and I take him up on it..

He drives me to my stop and says “See you next week” and I lean in for a kiss good night.. and he stares..

I am not sure if it was because he was oblivious to what I had just done or because he saw what I did and felt as awkward as I did..

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So I chose to jump out of the car & pretend it never happened..

I am glad today is over..

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As you can tell by the dates on my blog.. I get spurts of need to write.. just little spurts here and there.. and it’s because I lack anything interesting.. seriously.. the weight loss/tone up thing is a never ending battle and I hate measuring myself..

Mostly because when I do I remember my perfect adolescent figure and sigh a little.. I know realistically that I won’t ever make it down to that weight and those measurements again.. and if there was some dream world where I did.. I doubt I’d be very happy with it.. I’d probably want to gain a little weight back.

But I saw something today.. Something that made my jaw drop and my eyes bulge out.. Something incredible to watch.. impossible to imagine.. and it made me want to do it.. it made me want to do it 100 times over!

I literally have never seen this done before.. until today.. I saw in on Maroon 5’s One More Night music video.. I rewound it to see Adam Levine do it again.. and again.. and again.. until I got sick of hearing “You and I go rough” on a constant loop… then I scoured the internet in search of the name of this incredible.. impossible sit up..

It was at that moment that I new I had to do it.. I had to work my way up to this Mayweather sit up.. right down to holding the weights and a left/right hook before squatting down to do it again.. I’m not so sure I am inspired by this as I am in total disbelief that it’s even possible.

Honestly I still need to get a full sit up down.. I can do the half sit ups but not the full..

But here is how long I have to accomplish it:
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Wish me luck!

So I have decided to make this my next “Do or die” goal.. I would like to be able to do this by my birthday next year.. I wonder if it’s doable..

A little victory happened for me.. as you can tell by the title of my blog.. It was my first dietbet win.

Bigger news.. since August 30th I’ve lost a collective 9.5 inches!
Sad note.. 2 of those inches were in my breasts.. A sad day learning that indeed…

August 20th measurements:
Bust: 44″
Waist: 37″
Hips: 48″
Arms: 13.5″
Thighs: 30″
Weight: 200+lbs Exact Weight Unknown

November 7th, 2014
Bust: 42″
Waist: 35.5″
Hips: 47″
Arms: 13″
Thighs: 28″

I was super proud of my weight loss 3 days ago.. I finally reached a weight that was under 200lbs..

Sadly I’m back at 200.8lbs
I blame it on menstration.. what a horrible way to start a dietbet..

But I am determined to look at the upside..

THIS IS STILL LESS THAN I WEIGHED THE LAST TIME I WROTE A BLOG ABOUT MY WEIGHT
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*fanfare*

erm… or a dirty picture of Steve Carell… that works too..

Today I’ve started a new dietbet.. I submitted the weight in this morning and am waiting for it to be confirmed so they can tell me how much I need to lose.. because apparently I can’t do the math on my own… (8.1lbs in 4 weeks.. I did the math post coffee)

I have nothing intelligent to add after this so I am going to leave it at this.. before I put my foot in my mouth

I love the Beatles.. and I love The Wonder Years..

But this isn’t about either.. this is about me actually needing help..

Ever since I got cut back from 50 hours a week down to 15 it’s been a struggle.. Rent going up again isn’t helping… With full time we barely made ends meet as it was pre-rent hike…

Here is where I use emotional black mail to lure you into donating to my site.

I have 2 kids to take care of..
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They are my everything.. I love them dearly and cannot afford where I live anymore..
My issue is that I can’t afford moving expenses either.. So I’m asking for your help..

I’m looking for donations to help us move into a new place. We’ve put in our 2 months notice and have to be out New Years Eve.

Before you start asking what I’m doing to help myself I’ll tell you..

– I work part time at a place that gives tips.. I have stopped spending the tips.. they are going to my moving costs..
– I do secret shopping on the side of my part time work and am saving that money as well.. sadly that only pays $3-5 a job and it costs me $3+ just to go out to said locations
– I do Avon as well to earn extra money but am still struggling to make a profit with that little endeavor.. I know a profit can be made.. I did avon once before and managed to make a profit from it back then.. I only stopped because I had 2 other jobs at the time and chose to quit avon.
– I am selling as much of my stuff as I can before the move.. clothes, electronics, craft supplies, artwork.. anything that isn’t nailed down.. and probably even some stuff that is..

But I have debts to pay off.. I’ve used my credit cards to make ends meet and need to pay those off AND pay for my moving expenses..

Once I live in a cheaper place I will be able to get back on track.. and who knows.. I might get a second part time job in the area I will move to..

Right now I’m spending $1800 a month on rent, hydro & transportation and only making $2200 a month, which leaves me with $400 a month for Groceries, bills & emergency expenses.

I know that I can get a cheaper place, I’m currently looking at a place that is $1100 all inclusive. I’d be able to pay off my debts, save some money for the next move I end up doing, buy my kids nice things again and not kill myself trying to make ends meet for a little while.

As you can see, I have an actual plan to get back on my feet, this won’t be me every single week begging for a handout.

Please.. anything you could donate would be incredible I really would like to change my life and I believe this is the first step to doing so.

Just to make donating easier for you, my entire blog is a link to my donate page.

Thanks so much in advance, you have no idea how much your donation means to me.

Big Mama & family.
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Every once in a while, I miss women.

There is just something so sensual about them.

I once met the most beautiful woman I could ever lay eyes on.. She was everything I could possibly want in a woman.. and more.

Of course this was all without actually knowing her.. but never the less.. leave me with my fantasy..

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She had the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen with long, long lashes that made her eyes look even bigger than they already were

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She had this cute, nervous giggle that made me happy all over.. it was almost a gasp rather than a giggle.

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Almost like she was embarrassed that I could make her laugh.

She had unbelievably long.. silky.. tanned legs.. They seemed to stretch on forever.. It would be so easy to get tangled in those legs..

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But the thing I noticed the most about here was the way her lips looked like they were in a permanent shy smile.. The kind that looked like she desperately wanted to say something for my ears only… the kind that looked like the words were to be whispered along the length of my neck

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The kind that would leave a slight chill as they lightly grazed my ear lobe.

The kind I want to stare at all day long… as she tells me about the weather.. her hobbies.. the way her key shines in the sun.. The kind I want to lean into and feel just lightly graze my hair when she whispers her secrets to me..

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As I slowly slide my hands up her silky thighs.. I watch her lips purse in anticipation of what is to come next.. watching my mouth come closer.. seeing her bite her lower lip awaiting my kiss

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Inching closer and smelling her sweet breathe as I lean in and draw my own lips closer to hers for that first electrifying contact..

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The most exciting moment of that kiss isn’t the kiss itself.. it’s the moment just before it happens.. when your mouths are a millimeter away from each others.. you can feel her hot breath on your skin.. you can almost taste her but not just yet..

That aggravating anticipation that screams “If you don’t kiss me now I might die”

That heated excitement of that on coming first contact when you can’t wait another moment.

The knowledge that it’s going to happen.. you are leaning in.. she is responding to your every movement.. she is yours if you just take her into your arms.. if you seize that moment and make her your own..

That fraction of a second that takes it from a fantasy to a reality.. that turns your want into a need..

The very last moment before her lips touch yours…

THAT is the best part of the kiss..

I doubt that this blog makes much sense as I’m high on pain killers thanks to a sadist of a dentist..

Perhaps it’s the Percs I’m that are making me miss women.. perhaps it’s just been too long since I’ve actually been with a woman..

For now.. I’ll say good night and probably forget that I ever wrote this..

Good night

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