Why are you reading this? Scroll down for the good stuff.

I’m at his house meeting his new dog “Kate”

She is still a puppy.. full of energy.. ready to go, go, go and play all day. I get down to her level and give her attention and ask him where his toys are for her. She has energy, she wants to run it off.. I want to play with her. He gives me one unused tennis ball and says she knows how to play fetch.

I let Kate sniff the ball for a brief second and throw it as hard as I can, Kate bolts like lightning to get the ball and bring it back. It was a quick retrieval since I don’t throw very hard.

I turn and look at him. “Do you have a throwing arm?” He grins shoves his t-shirt sleeve up, flexes his bicep and gives me that teasing look. I laugh and shake my head.. “No, just no.. I meant one of those throwing arm things that get the ball going further out.. Long.. plastic.. cradle for the tennis ball.. any of this ringing a bell?”

“No, I don’t have one, we have a big yard, she has a lot of energy, she just runs”

“You need toys for her stimulation silly, she won’t always have this energy, get her used of playing with toys NOW, let’s go buy some for her”

“Let’s? She’s doing just fine, if YOU want to buy her new toys, that’s on you”

“Fine, my treat, we’ll go to the store and I’LL get a bunch of new toys for Kate and see what she likes the best” We head over to his truck “Kate, come” he orders and she leaps into the back seat.

We head over to the nearest pet store and I put Kate on her leash so we can head in and do some shopping. A sales associate comes over and offers her assistance.

He and I begin talking over each other:
Me: We’re looking for high energy toys for Kate here
Him: SHE’S looking for toys for Kate
Me: I’M looking for toys because you’ll enjoy them too!
Him: This is just some lame excuse to try and kidnap my dog
Me: If I wanted to do that… We’d have to be closer to my place not yours..
Sales Associate: Awww, you guys make a cute couple. How long have you been together?
Me: *Stunned* Ummmm.. We’re..
Him: You hear that? *hard slap on the back* We’re a cute couple!
Me: *elbow him in the gut* Sure we are sparky.. Can we get back to the matter at hand please? High energy toys for Kate.. 2 of everything
Kate: *tail wagging, head butting*
Him: TWO?? Are you trying to rob me blind here?
Me: MY treat remember?
Him: As if I was actually going to make you pay for it.. I might now.. Fuck.. 2 of everything..
Me: Shut up.. I’LL buy it.. as I promised to.

The sales associate gets a kick out of us and scans our stuff for Kate. He and I both go to give the associate our cards to pay for the toys. He snatches my card out of my hand and hands the associate his card to swipe. I shove him and take my card back and he laughs.

We head back to the truck me holding Kate, him the toys and head back to his place.

Once we get there I let Kate out and take off her leash so she can run. I take the bag and grab the throwing arm with a fresh tennis ball and fling the ball as hard as I can. Kate takes off and he grabs the arm out of my hand. “It’s dinner time, she needs to come inside to eat”

I roll my eyes and wait for her to show up while he heads inside to get dinner on the table.

I sit outside with Kate for a while and pet her, so full of energy, so happy and I ask her “Do you want dinner?”

Gone, into the house, didn’t hesitate, didn’t look back to see if I was coming.

I walk into the house and see her scamper for her bowl of food and see him in the kitchen standing over the stove. He hears me approaching and turns to see me.

I put my hair up in a messy bun and ask him “Is there anything I can to help?”

He slams the fry pan back on the now turned off stove and give me an angry look. He walks toward me and grabs my wrist “I hate it when you do that to your hair”

He leads me out of the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, down the hall and finally to his bedroom. I stand there at the foot of his bed and he slowly lowers me onto the bed and begins kissing my neck.

He puts his arms on either side of me on the bed and I begin crawling backwards onto the bed so my legs aren’t dangling over the edge.. With my every step backward he crawls over me at the same pace. When I am far enough on the bed for his liking he puts his hand on my chest and shoves me down onto the bed and presses his strong hard body down onto mine.

He stares down at me and still looks a little angry, and now he’s waiting.

I look back up at him, waiting to understand what he wants. I’m getting uncomfortable with this heated silence, my neck is still tingling from his beard. I want more, but I don’t know if I can move.

Finally after 30 seconds of eternity I grab his muscular neck and pull him down on me. Pressing my lips against his was an instant relief. He felt it too. He groaned and kissed me back.. hard.

He grabs my hair and starts yanking out the bun to free my hair, then wraps his fingers in my hair and squeezes, just enough to take control of my head. I wrap my arms around him and feel every muscle in his back rippling beneath my fingers.

“Take, my shirt off” He orders and he continues kissing me. My hands scamper to the buttons on his shirt and shakily unbuttoning them all.. pulling his shirt off his arms one by one and tossing it aside. My hands are now touching his naked back. His hot skin under my finger tips is electrifying.

He begins undoing his jeans and slides them off over me and I hear them thunk as they hit the floor on the foot of the bed. He unbuttons my jean shorts and slides the zipper down and suddenly he stops, lifts himself onto his fists and looks at me again. This time I know what he wants.

I slide my shorts off as he stares me in the eyes. He’s pleased, I see it in his face. He lowers himself down and slides his hard cock easily into my wet and waiting pussy and just leaves it there.

That first penetration nearly gets me there and then he stills, I’m dying inside. He gets heavier on top of me as his hand reach for the bottom of my shirt and begin pulling upward. I hold my breath, I can’t believe this is happening. I reach for my bra and he grabs my hand and shoves it back down onto the bed unclasps my bra with the other hand and slides my bra off & tosses it aside.

We’re both naked now, pressed into the bed and he thrusts once more and my entire body begins to ripple with pleasure.

He’s forceful, but calm throughout. I knew who was in charge and I let him control me. I loved that he made me feel like his woman.

His hard cock pushing deep inside me, his hips spreading my thighs wider apart with every thrust I felt my hips expanding I could hear his deep, heavy breathing growling in my ear as he give one final hard push and whispers my name under his breath and wraps his arms around me tight.

We lay there silently. I feel his heart slowing, his breath returning to normal, his arms transitioning from a controlling hold to a protective embrace. He rolls off me and falls asleep beside me. I quietly roll off the bed, get dressed and go downstairs to pack up dinner, let the dog out to go to the bathroom, put her inside again and finally.. go home.

The shadow

At work, as usual.. and I see some cute stranger trying to get into the main office. I ignore it because I have things to do in the morning anyway.

He comes over to my window and introduces himself and tells me that my boss is expecting him. I call my boss to confirm and give him the strangers name and he is indeed expecting him. I tell the stranger to wait by the office door and that I will buzz him in.

So my cute boss and his cute shadow are wandering around the work place and I’m watching as they have animated conversations about how our operation works. I later find out that my boss is training this guy for his position for another location..

Another big boss man.. Nice..

I am about to go on my break and the guy replacing me and I are both watching our boss with his shadow as they disappear into the warehouse and I mention that I think the shadow dude is HOT.. My breaker says “Eww” as if I’m not supposed to be attracted to people.

I laugh at him and say “It’s okay you’re still my favorite *insert my position with a feminine title*”

He first takes it as a compliment until he realizes the title I just gave him. He side eyes me and says “Oh gee, thanks” and I laugh.

Just then my boss comes into my little office.. Sans shadow.. I look out the window in both directions to see if the shadow is following him and my coworker says “Chill woman, he’s not that hot” and I reply almost shouting “I’m allowed to look!”

My boss laughs when he realizes what we are talking about and tells me that the guy is in the warehouse.

I tell him “Fantastic, I think it’s about time I take my break” wink at them both and make my way into the warehouse for my break, knowing they are going to talk about me when I leave.

I sit back and watch the shadow talking to our warehouse manager and just sit back enjoying the view.

When my boss goes back into the warehouse he sees me quietly checking out the shadow and he grins. I smile back at him and watch him go back to his trainee and they start doing a little manual labor.. HOT.. Nothing hotter than 2 good looking men working up a sweat.. muscles flexing as they grab heavy objects.

My boss is teaching him how to be a flexible boss.. a good boss is one that helps out whenever he knows his employees need it..

“Good boy.. we need more men like you in our lives” I think to myself as I wait until the very last second before I go back to work. I’m enjoying the view too much to want to go back early.

I get back to work and it’s work as usual until the end of the day.

When it is closing time I get my closing paperwork done and head in. Just as I get in, the shadow is leaving and I pipe up “How was the tour today?”

“Excellent” He responds

“You’re with one of the best, I’d expect nothing less.” I wink at him and tell him to have a good evening.

My boss and all my coworkers are already in the warehouse and are laughing at our brief encounter and my boss tells me “You’re bad, you know that?”

Without thinking that his shadow is STILL right behind me I say “What? I asked him how his day was, It’s not like I grabbed his ass! I mean come on, it’s not like I’d do that.. There are too many security camera’s around here to do that anyway”

The shadow dude… heard.. everything

Nice Big Mama… nice..

I think that foot in my mouth just went down to my knee.. I’ll never get the foot out of my mouth NOW…

One hot summer night,
we were hot, bored and dateless.
We decided to keep each other entertained.

I’d never done this before,
you had me feeling, restless.
I, tonight, was forever changed.

Lights on, camera a go and you were ready to do my bidding
You were the excited one, I was the nervous one,
Somehow that was fitting.

You were sweet and obedient,
I told you to sit and you’d sit
For that one night, we were a perfect fit

I never loved anyone the way I loved you that night
You taught me, and reassured me, that I was doing just fine
For one night, you were mine

The sweetest puppy I know

In memory of Brawnydog


Amber was a shy kind of curious..

I loved that about her..

Whenever we hung out she would smile just a little too long.. stare at my mouth just a little too intently.. she constantly played with her hair and bit her lower lip when she focused her attention on me.

Not everyone would pick up on her signals.. in fact, no one we hung out with caught on to her attraction to me.

But I did..

When we were alone and I knew she was staring at me I would turn and look at her with a knowing glance and she would jump.

One day she asked if we could watch a movie at my place sometime. I gave her an open invitation for it.

That night she came over, smelling faintly of alcohol, carrying a bottle of wine.

I grabbed 2 glasses and a bag of salt water taffy while Amber picked out a movie.

Upon my return from the kitchen I saw her curled up on my couch with a single smooth leg outstretched across the rest of the couch as far as it could reach, leaving no room for me to sit unless I were to slide behind her.

I grabbed a cushion, tossed it on the floor in front of her, and used the couch as a back rest.

I heard a quiet sigh behind me, muffled by a fake clearing of her throat.

“Wine?” She asks
“Please” I respond. And she spills a little wine on me as she pours and starts apologizing in a panic.

I sit up on my knees, run my finger along my still wet breast, lick the alcohol from my finger and tell her that it is okay.

I smile as I wipe the rest off with a napkin and settle back down into my oversized cushion.

She drinks a glass and a half of wine while we watch our movie before she touches me and asks if I want to sit on the couch with her.

She needed liquid courage to take that first step.

I pause the movie, turn and look at her & ask if she is sure.. She stares for a moment, speechless, before she whispers “Yes” and moves forward on the couch a little, giving me space to lay down behind her.

I settle in and grab the remote that was by her stomach and I feel her inhale.

“Don’t worry Amber” I breath against her ear “I won’t make a move on you unless you bring me to the bedroom yourself”

We continue watching the movie and she reaches for my hand, unsure if she should touch it, worried that if she grabs my hand that I will pull away.

She finally touches my hand and I lace my fingers with hers. She inhales again, then wraps my arm around her waist.

Every few minutes she takes a deep breathe and readjusts herself on my couch, pressing her ass to my lap, rubbing the back of her head against my neck.

The movie finally ends.

She lays there still, I know she is scared, she reaches for the bottle again. I grab her hand and tell her she doesn’t need that, she just needs to make a decision.

Amber grabs my hand and pulls me off the couch, walks towards the stairs and stops.

“What do you want to do Amber?”

Silence fills the room, a deafening silence.

She looks upstairs and looks back at me.

“What do you want to do Amber” I state.

She grabs my hand again and walks up the first step and says “I want you to take me to your room” she says so quietly it is almost a whisper.

I grip her hand and slowly start walking her up the stairs.. I step into my bedroom leaving her in the hallway and say

“Are you sure?”

She looks at me and says yes

I pull her into my room and sit her down on my bed with her legs dangling off the side. She tries to scamper onto the bed and I put my hand on her thigh

“No, dear. Not yet”

I run my hand through her hair and kiss her forehead.

“We will get to that later, right now I want to undress you”

Her eyes widen and she stutters “b-b-but”

I kiss her mouth, lightly, just long enough to silence her.

I get down on my knees and begin unbuttoning her shirt & slowly start sliding it off her shoulders.

She leans forward to kiss me back, nervous about my watching her shirt slide off her body.

I let her get comfortable again, continue kissing her until her hands stop shaking.

“Stand up” I quietly order and she reaches for my hands to stand me up as well.

I pull my hands away and nod no. “Stand up.” I tell her again.

She does, and her hands start shaking again. I unbutton her jean shorts and slowly slide the zipper down revealing a peek of her underwear.

I drag my fingers down her legs, pulling her shorts off, kissing her stomach and she jumps once more.

I can feel the goosebumps all over her skin, she puts one hand in my hair and grips, while the other grabs her forearm to hide herself with.

She steps out of her shorts and is standing there in her underwear, with a death grip on her arm.

“Shhhhh, you are done sweetheart, the hard part is over” I tell her.

I sit her back on the bed and she scampers up the bed and hides under the covers.

She watches as I peel off my shirt and slide my shorts down to the floor.. I crawl on the bed and curl up under the blankets beside her and pull her against me, she immediately kisses me and wraps her fingers in my hair.

I roll on top of her and settle my legs between her thighs, she wraps her ankles around my calves and moans in pleasure as I deepen the kiss.

“Take off your bra” I say muffled by her taffy flavored lips. She adjusts and starts to peel off her bra for me. She throws it to the floor and reaches for her underwear.

I grab her hand and stop her. We continue kissing and nibbling on each others lips until she starts taking my underwear off.

Once I was naked she reached for her own underwear once more and this time I pinned her hands above her head.

“No” I say and stop her again.

I kiss her neck, nibble on her earlobe and tug just a little.. she giggles and relaxes noticeably.

I slowly work my way down her torso and as nervous as she is, she is excited by my tounge, slowly licking it’s way down her torso, my mouth kissing her sensitive navel, my teeth biting at her soft cotton underwear.

I lick her inner hip and her back arches. She cries out, and grabs my hair.. shoving my face deeper into her hip as her silky smooth thigh runs along my cheek. All I can feel beneath me are muscles rippling, she came already.

I shove her leg back onto the bed and slowly begin to pull her underwear down her long lean legs. She is crying, begging me to hurry.

I inch the underwear down her legs kissing and licking every sensitive part of her as I go down the bed with her panties. I pull them off her feet and she lays there naked, before me, a gift.

She takes a moment to realize it and then starts to hide herself with her hands.

“No” I order.

She looks nervous again..

“You’re beautiful”

She gives a nervous chuckle.. she begins to speak and I cut her off.

“The only words you are allowed to say tonight are words of passion, or stop”

I spread her feet apart and press my hands on her knees exposing her. She lets out another nervous giggle as I lean in and kiss her knee.

I kneel between her thighs and slowly work my way up. She is trembling so much it is shaking the entire bed. She lifts her legs and put them over my shoulders to keep me from pulling away.

I wrap my arms around her thighs and begin eating her out. It doesn’t take long for her to come again

I loved the taste of her, tangy citrus as she trembled beneath my tounge. Once she regained her bearings she grabbed my hair and tugged gently to pull me back up to lay with her.

I crawled back up with her and she curled up against me.

“I have never come before” she whispers into my neck.

I push her away, far enough to look into her eyes and say “Then you are in for a long night”

If I am going to keep doing this this time around I am going to need an accountability partner(s)

Someone to kick my ass when I miss a day..

Any takers? 😂

I will be weighing myself daily to show that fluctuations are normal and nothing to worry about..

I won’t be following a specified workout routine, but I will be doing LCHF/CNS as my diet & logging any workout I do with myfitnesspal so you can follow along with that if you like
Username: ghanuse


I’ve never blogged about BBM specifically.. but so far my plan to lead the BBM 3.0 Challenge has been successful.. I haven’t flaked on the challenge yet.. so that’s saying something.

I feel like Brianna does training outside of BBM though because I don’t think there is a way I could possibly lose 100 pounds in a year doing her challenges.. Not that my goal is to lose that much.. but her results seem a bit far fetched so far.

We shall see.

Have you done the BBM Challenges? What were your results?

As promised (to some)
Today’s boobys

Tomorrow is day one of my Bikini Body Mommy 3.0 adventure..

I fail miserably at these programs.. they are too strict.. they deprive too much.. they work you too hard.. they don’t work you hard enough..

I have decided to do BBM 3.0 and have accountability partners.. I’m actually running this BBM journey with a few online friends.. I’ll be the one posting the videos and asking for updates from the people who have joined me..

I am hoping that since they will be depending on me to keep them motivated, that it means I will stay motivated myself..

I have decided that I will not be following her meal plan.. I will take the supplements that she has suggested and do her work outs.. I will be increasing my water intake as well.. but I will eat what I like and practice moderation.

Bright at early tomorrow morning I will weigh myself for the first time in over a month.. which will be horrifying.. and I will post it publicly  which is even more horrifying..

I went though a depression for that month that I didn’t step on a scale.. and I am a comfort eater..so that doesn’t really bode well for me. I’m not sure what I weigh right now, but I can guarantee that it is more than 200 lbs so I am a bundle of nerves tonight because I know I will not be happy with what I see on the scale.

For now.. I will try not to let it get to me too much.. but seeing as I am writing about it.. it’s not easy to not think of.

I am not sure how regularly I will be posting about it here as I will be posting it in the womens group that I am in and posting it on Instagram.. But I will try to keep you updated.. My invisible reader.. who is so invisible that it doesn’t show in the stats that you have read my blog entries.

My company is pretty big.. we’re international in fact.. we have locations around Canada & the United States.. we ship around the world.. we’re titans..


We’ve recently acquired a new company.. which for a long time.. have been our competitors.. HUGE in the business world.. HUGE

They too were titans of our industry.. it would be like McDonalds buying out Burger King.. and kind of a coupe for us..


With the sad reality of a buy out like this.. comes mass lay offs.. and my co-worker and I have been watching as people have been getting their pink slips and going..

It’s a sad occasion.. to be on the ground watching as people who’ve been working there forever are suddenly.. just gone.. unnecessary..
Here I am.. 33 years old.. I still look young enough to get ID’d when I buy smokes before going to work


And I’m teaching a man who has worked at the company for 32 years how to use our system to do the same job he’s done for ever..

All he keeps telling me is “This is how we USED to do things” “This is how we USED to do things”

I’ve seen enough to know that if he doesn’t learn our system of doing things that he’s going to lose his job.. and fast.. I’m one of 11 people who can take over his job without a second glance.. there are 5 more that could do his job in a week with a little bit of training within our company as well.. and he just can’t let things go

How can I tell a man that without sounding harsh? How can I tell him that he’s disposable.. after 32 years on the job.. 32 years of loyal service..


Me.. who has worked for my company for 2 years NEXT April.. who was still in diapers when he started doing this job..
I would hate to see him lose his job.. but the reality is.. if he doesn’t shut up and learn then that is exactly what is going to happen.. this job is all he knows by this point.. who is going to hire a 60 something year old man with 32 years at this one job.. someone a few years from his retirement age goal.. losing this job would devastate him & his family.. and to the owner of our company.. it will be:


Big mama is just like every other mama out there.. making new years resolutions desperate to be in ideal shape..

On my Facebook I have posted a picture every day of my weight.. I am going to be doing my measurements every once in a while so I can watch the difference in everything..

Here is what I have so far:







And here are my measurements today:
Bust: 40″
Waist: 36″
Hips: 48″
Arms: 13″
Thighs: 28″

Here they were August of last year:
Bust: 44″
Waist: 37″
Hips: 48″
Arms: 13.5″
Thighs: 30″

I am not sure how to keep blogs interesting anymore.. I used to write all the time.. And I never ran out of things to say.. but that was back in the days of MySpace when blogs were cool..

Are blogs cool anymore?

Don’t answer that.. I don’t want to know if I am spiraling into the uncool mom zone.. my teenager already thinks I am there..

I think I will end my blog here for now.. if I come up with anything witty I will let you know right away..

Or you know.. write another blog..

Or.. .. .. something.. *blink*

S’cuze me.. I gotta go do mom things now..

So I slept in until my “time to go” alarm..

Bolted for the bathroom to brush my teeth.. no time for a shower.. bleh


I wait for the elevator in my high rise & get to the ground floor.. go bolting out the building.. cross the street to my bus stop..

I forgot my bus pass..

I run allllllllll the way back to my apartment grab the bus pass and run back to the bus stop.. get back to the bus stop JUST on time..

And now I am sweating.. with no shower.. and no deodorant..


Bleh… double bleh.. nope.. no.. triple bleh… Good thing I have deodorant at work.. I can put some on when I get there..

I get to the Tim Hortons to buy my morning coffee & an extra coffee for the person that will inevitably pick me up on the way to work..

I give the person that picked me up his coffee.. we arrive at work & I can see another co-worker telling a story & running around..

Lively story.. why am I watching him from outside?


Creeper! I am such a creeper!

Come lunch time I go for lunch with a guy that has a crush on me.. the entire time out was awkward..

Especially when he threatened to spank me… … … *blink*

Work is quiet so I do my usual listen to loud music and sing very loudly totally off key and dance like I am having a seizure


Just to find out that the big boss is here.. like.. the owner of my location.. and has a perfect view of my shenanigans..

Aces Big mama.. aces..

Then when the big boss decides to leave he came to see me so he could say Merry Christmas & shake my hand..
He flagged me down to tell me so ahead of time.. so I watched him as he approached.. .. ..

Finally the day is over.. and the cute married guy at work offers me a ride to my bus stop and I take him up on it..

He drives me to my stop and says “See you next week” and I lean in for a kiss good night.. and he stares..

I am not sure if it was because he was oblivious to what I had just done or because he saw what I did and felt as awkward as I did..


So I chose to jump out of the car & pretend it never happened..

I am glad today is over..


Tag Cloud